New – Going It Alone – Class Starting Soon

We have almost completed the “How Personalities Impact the Single Parent Home” series. If you missed it and would like more information please let me hear from you.

We will begin a book study for single mothers November 22 using Michele Howe’s book, Going It Alone, Meeting the Challenges of Being a Single Mom.  The class will meet at Calder Baptist in Beaumont, Texas at 9:15 on Sundays. Books will be provided for the first six moms and hopefully more once we get started.

If you would like to particitpate via internet please send me an email with “Class” in the subject window.

First class: “Tough Times: When Kids Face Their Pain”

Moms are moms the world over. We love and want the best for our children.

Do You Want to be Right or Do You Want to be Happy?

“Lord, when we are wrong make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with.” Peter Marshall
The Reverend Dr. Peter Marshall (May 27, 1902 – January 26, 1949) was a Scottish-American preacher, and twice served as Chaplain of the United States Senate. He is remembered most popularly from the biography A Man Called Peter, and the film made from it.

Are You a Path Finder?

So often we refer to our lives as a journey. I call it “My Path.” It’s no simply trip.  Certainly there are days when I wonder if a path exists or if I’m even on the right track. The traffic, barriers and detours do seem to delay my progress. Each of us is traveling—choosing each step, turn, and sometimes deciding to detour.

Do you have this struggle? Is it difficult to find your way?

I think each path may be uniquely designed especially for each of us to travel and learn from. Even the rough and steep trails give life its meaning. Life is difficult. Trouble comes—you stub your toes on the roots or rocks—you resist and cry out. “What is that ‘trouble’ doing in my way?” you demand.

“In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But  take  heart!  I’ve conquered the world.”       John 16:33    Msg.

Your path may seem too rough, crooked, or twisty and you complain that others’ lives are easier than yours. While you are envious of others you miss the beauty, rich lessons and values of your journey. Accepting the path you were placed on brings much peace. Do otherwise and you fail to enjoy the scenery as you travel through life.

As moms you hold the hands of your little ones walking beside you. You warn them of the obstacles. You point out ways to choose the wise routes, take the best turns, and avoid danger. If your child stumbles you help him up, brush her off, kiss any bruises and continue. Whatever missteps they make-you love them still. And one day you release them to blaze their own trail.

Aren’t most of us really children trying to make our way?

“I’m telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you’re not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in.    Matt. 18: 3 Msg.

Don’t you hold the Lord’s hand as you travel your path?

God said, “My presence will go with you. I’ll see

the journey to the end.”      Exodus 33:14 Msg.

Whatever steps or missteps you take—remember they are mostly baby steps and your Master loves you.

So don’t sit around on your hands! No more dragging your feet! Clear the path for long-distance runners so no one will trip and fall, so no one will step in a hole and sprain an ankle. Help each other out. And run for it!                    Hebrews 12:13 Msg.

 

“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.”         Ralph Waldo Emerson

Resources for Single Mothers

As SMORE for Women develops new ways to serve single moms we need input from you.

• Do you know of resources that we can share on our site? www.smoreforwomen.org
• Do you have links? Send them to me.
• Do you want to be listed as a resource? Let me know.

Please look at our themes and let me know how you or your organization might fit in with our vision.

I am looking forward to hearing from all of you out there.

Know Your Children

Reprinted with permission from Marilyn Mansfield, B.S., M.Educ.

www.beingmebeingfree.blogspot.com 

If you’ve had a chance to read Being Me, Being Free, you know it deals with four distinct personality types:

• Playful Sanguine
• Powerful Choleric
• Perfect Melancholy
• Peaceful Phlegmatic

I witness these everyday — and I’m sure you do too.

For instance, last night, as soon as my daughter Meredith got home from her summer job working at a children’s camp, she was ready for a crash session. Working with those children all day drains her physically and mentally. I, on the other hand, had been home all day and was looking forward to a run to the mall. My Playful Sanguine personality allows me to go, go, go and the more I’m around people, the more energized I become. Meredith, my Peaceful Phlegmatic, needs downtime after a long period of human exposure — aka elementary aged kids at church day camp! So what did we do? Did we make it to the mall? Did we retreat to separate rooms?

What I’ve learned from my years as a teacher and from my training on personality profiling, led to a compromise. Meredith got to veg out in front of the TV for a while, got a bite to eat, and refueled. After about an hour, I brought up the subject of an outing to the mall. She reluctantly relented and three hours later, when we arrived home from the mall, we were both in good moods and actually got something accomplished that she had been putting off (getting a much needed new pair of glasses)!

Moral of the story/teachable moment: Peaceful Phlegmatics must have downtime, especially after a long day at work or school. Playful Sanguines have to realize that not everyone can run like the Energizer bunny and not everyone needs human interaction 24-7. So watch out for those people in your life who need to withdraw for periods of time. It’s not that they’re depressed and it’s not personal — it’s just how they’re wired.

SMORE Ministry

As we move forward I see the need for some changes. One change will be that we will become more of a resource center for single moms.

So I’m aksing for your input and opinions.

First, do you know of resources that could be beneficial for single mothers? If so, please send a link to their site.

Do you know individuals that have something specific to offer single moms?

Are there books that you recommend?

And also-we will change our header. The acronym will be: Single Moms (for the S and M in SMORE) followed by three words beginning with O, R, and E that describe our desires for the moms we serve. Tell me if you like these three words:

• Optimized
• Revitalized
• Encouraged

I’m open to your suggestions. I’m hoping to hear from you soon.\

Personality Predicaments, How Personalities Impact the Single Parent Home

Yesterday-September 20, 2009, we started our first class for single moms at Calder Baptist in Beaumont, Texas with a Focus Group online.

 Do not despise these small beginnings. -Zechariah 4:10 (NLT)

The three lovely moms who atttended our class are from left to right-Alice Bienvenu, Brenda Morrow, and Mary A. Simon.

Alice and Brenda are members of Calder Baptist and Mary is the Ministry Director of Singles at Antioch Baptist in Beaumont. Single moms of all denominations are welcome. You may come to this class and still attend worship at your home church. We meet from 9:15-10:15 on Sundays and a nursery is provided. For those not living in our area consider joining us online through the Focus Group.

We shared together and will being the personality class next Sunday. If any of you would like to oin the focus group online please contact me via email at gail@seeinguthrough.com and I will send the information to you.

Just As I Am

Power in Acceptance

Some of us humans have very little trouble accepting others and their actions, even idiosyncrasies.  Some of us, however, have great difficulty accepting, even tolerating others. Wonder why?

Of course, I think it is our personal natures-our personalities- that must be factored in when looking at why we can’t accept others just as they are. The Powerful Choleric personality has the greatest problem in this area. It is not uncommon for them to seethe under the surface when others aren’t doing things their way. It’s also hard for them to give in when another directs them or takes up their time. Powerfuls are notorious for not wanting to be interrupted. They also have a reputation for being bossy and offensive. Yet—they can be great leaders.

The other personalities may not like what another does; they just have different ways of dealing with it. The Perfect Melancholy, for example, may pout or stop talking to the other party. The Peaceful Phlegmatic will likely retreat and ignore requests for action by another. And the Popular Sanguine will probably give-in so everyone is happy, even though she doesn’t like the situation.

We know as Christians that our Lord accepts us where and as we are. If Our Father accepts us why can’t we accept others?

Think of those you live with, think of your children, think of your ex, think of your parents, think of your co-workers. Can you honestly say you accept each just as they are? You don’t want them to change anything they do? You can live or work with them and not get annoyed by their actions or lack of action?

This is a really hard call for many of us. Age and many years of life lived teaches us or molds us to be more understanding and accepting. What may not have occurred to us is that when we do accept another we gain power. Not power over another, power over our own natures. We become more self-aware.

Demonstrating acceptance towards another gives peace where dissention and strife creates terrible memories. The accepted person recognizes the grace in it and senses—love.

So, can you accept another just as she/he is?

Note: Please understand that I am not suggesting unacceptable actions in relationships be accepted.

Whatsoever Things. . .

Today is my birthday. I’ve had a life filled with ups and downs-major highs and deep lows. My family was always there for me and I consider myself blessed. Along the way I’ve learned to take note and savor the small pleasures.

I happen to be away from home for two weeks. I am at my sister, Helen’s, in Keller, Texas north of Fort Worth. This morning she had set out a few roses and birthday cards for me.

I’ve always loved beautiful gardens and my brother-in-law, Bruce, has a very green thumb. It has been dry this season so there are less blossoms, but still beautiful.

This evening Helen and I visited and shared. Simple and Wonderful!

Cherish Simplicity.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Phil. 4:8

This was our mother’s favorite verse.

Techniques for Thinking

Here are some thoughts I’ve adapted for the single mom.

1. Keep life simple

2. Practice being satisfied.

3. Beware of indecision.

4. Practice cheerfulness.

5. Learn to like people.

6. Live and let live.

7. Use adversity.

8. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

9. Have a sense of humor.

10. Practice objectivity.

11. Tolerate your own mistakes.

12. Forgive yourself.

Much could be said about each of these, but you get the idea. Moms are smart that way.

Love to all-Gail